Islamonweb

Alhamdulillah!!!

My name is Ahmed Ibrahim, and this is my journey from Abhishek to Ahmed. In this article, I share how I discovered Islam, the challenges I faced, the support I received, how my parents reacted, and how I came to understand the beauty of Islam.

Life Before Shahadah

In my past life, I was known as Abhishek. I grew up in a moderately religious Hindu family, an only child to my parents. Materially, I had everything—a loving family, financial comfort, and all the luxuries a child could ask for. Yet, despite all this, I was a troubled and rebellious kid. I took my parents' love and generosity for granted and treated them poorly. Even though they gave me the best—clothes, a bike, a car at a very young age—I was rude and ungrateful. My attitude caused immense pain to my parents.

There were dark moments in my life when I even attempted suicide twice over trivial matters. My anger issues, my reckless behaviour—they terrified my parents. They often remained silent as I yelled at them. Looking back, I now realize the emotional toll I put them through. My mother cried often because of me, and the stress I caused her led to weight loss and mental breakdowns. I burdened my parents not only emotionally but financially as well.

I started college in Coimbatore but dropped out after just a few weeks. Then, I joined a college in Kochi, which marked a significant turning point in my life. Initially, things were going well; I didn’t smoke or use drugs at that time. But it wasn’t long before I began experimenting with substances, and soon, drugs took over my life. My focus on studies vanished, and I began skipping classes, especially in my second year. By then, I had missed so many lectures that the college refused to allow me to sit for exams due to lack of attendance.

I lived recklessly, caring little for how my actions affected my parents or anyone else. I flaunted my lifestyle—drug use, parties, and tattoos, even with vulgar words in different part of my body." My mental state was such that I couldn’t see how these choices would affect my future. I was high most of the time, making impulsive decisions that led to disastrous outcomes. I started a business in Calicut, investing heavily, but within a year, I had to close it due to poor management. My focus was always elsewhere—partying and using drugs.

My life spiraled out of control. I had relationships based on fleeting pleasures, travelled long distances just to get drugs, and became increasingly involved in a chaotic lifestyle of partying and clubbing. I lost my grip on college life, becoming an unruly, disrespectful person with no sense of ethics. I even carried a baseball bat in my car, constantly getting into fights, driven by my aggressive character.

In short, I was a complete mess. I nearly failed out of college, lost my business, and had no regard for my future.

My Transition to Islam

I always had an interest in Islam, and most of my friends were Muslims. In Ramadan 2019, while staying at my flat in Kochi, I started thinking about fasting and decided to ask a few friends from Calicut how to pray. They taught me the different positions in prayer, and at first, I just followed the steps without reciting anything. Slowly, I began practicing the five daily prayers and fasting. To my surprise, the moment I started praying, my desire for drugs, which had controlled me for so long, disappeared completely. A person like me, who was always high, was suddenly free from that thirst for drugs, as if it had vanished into thin air.

At the time, my flatmates had no idea that I was practicing Islam. But one night, one of them saw me praying in secret. He noticed my door was locked and peeked through the keyhole, only to find me praying in a seated position, reciting the Shahadah with the same hand that had the tattoo “***** *******” on it. He was shocked. The next day, he asked, “Bro, what’s happening?” I opened up to him, explaining how I had been feeling something deep inside, a need to learn more about Islam. He kindly taught me Surah Al-Fatiha and the recitations for each step in prayer. May Allah reward him in this world and the Hereafter.

A week later, another friend found out about my practice of Islam. He was the one who encouraged me to take my Shahadah, and it was through him that I officially declared my faith. After that, many people came into my life, guiding me with their knowledge of Islam. Whenever I learned something new, I would always ask for proof from the Quran or authentic Hadith. This became my way of learning—Alhamdulillah, I was surrounded by people who helped me grow in my understanding of Islam, while I always verified everything I was taught.

After 6 to 8 months, I decided to convert to Islam officially, and for legal purposes, I went to Tharbiyatul Islam Sabha in Calicut, about 6-8 km from my home. I wanted to study there while staying at home and attending daily classes, as I knew I couldn’t handle staying in a dormitory. However, they asked me to bring someone who could vouch for me, ensuring I wasn’t linked to any terrorist groups. The only person I had was my mother, and when I asked her, she reluctantly agreed, saying, “If there’s no other option, I’ll come, but try to find another way first. If people find out, I’ll face the consequences.”

At that time, I was regularly praying Tahajjud, so I added a special dua, asking Allah: “Ya Allah, I can’t live in the dormitory setup, and if my mom comes as my guarantor, she’ll face many problems. Please show me another way to get the certificate without staying there.” Three days later, while I was driving through Calicut Beach, a man asked me for a lift to the nearest mosque. I let him in, and as we drove, he asked, “Why didn’t you recite the dua before starting the car?” I explained that I was new to Islam and didn’t know the dua yet. Out of nowhere, he asked me, “Have you been to Therbiyatul?” I told him I had, but they wanted me to stay there or bring a guarantor. He replied, “A kid like you won’t be able to live in that setup. Don’t worry, I know the people there. Come with me tomorrow, and we’ll meet them together.”

I was completely shaken. HIS WORDS WERE EXACTLY WHAT I HAD ASKED FROM ALLAH IN MY DUA. It was nothing short of a miracle, and everything worked out from there.

During this period, I began thinking deeply about our existence. How did we end up here on Earth? How did something as perfect as Earth, with its delicate balance, come into being? And how did human beings, with all our complexities, come into existence? None of this could have happened without a cause. The Earth itself is an object of precise calculation—any slight change in the forces that sustain it, like the distance from the sun or gravitational pull, would lead to its destruction. This pointed, undeniably, to the presence of a Creator.

All the elements that support life, from organisms to the perfect balance of factors that allow them to thrive, couldn’t exist without a purpose behind them. These thoughts led me to read more about Islam in search of answers. Through the Quran, I found insights that seemed futuristic and clear responses to many of my burning questions. Questions like, “Why does Allah SWT prohibit certain things? Why does He ask us to live in a specific way? Why did He give us perfect instructions for living?” Suddenly, everything made sense.

I continued my search for knowledge, learning more about my beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)—his life, his struggles, how he dealt with his family, and how he interacted with the people around him. All of this strengthened my faith in Allah SWT and reinforced my belief in the realities of Hell and Heaven.

During this time, I decided to move to the UK for my studies. Alhamdulillah, I met many people who helped me further my understanding of Islam. For most of my stay, I lived alone in a single room, so I could focus on my prayers without disturbing others. However, I had two roommates at different times during my stay. Both of them became like brothers to me. One of them taught me a lot about the religion, always providing proof to clear up any doubts I had. The other one supported me immensely, and together we would learn and practice our deen. It was truly a blessing to have them in my life. May Allah SWT shower His blessings upon them in this world and the Hereafter.

Even now, I have a friend who constantly stands by me. He protects me, guides me on the right path, corrects me when I make mistakes, supports me in my deen, and teaches me duas and the meanings of each surah. He also teaches me the different names of Allah SWT and how to pronounce each word and name correctly. May Allah SWT shower His blessings upon him in this world and the Hereafter. Ameen.

I also pray that Allah SWT showers His blessings upon everyone who helped me or even tried to help me on this journey. Ameen.

The Problems I Faced During My Reversion

When I tried to change my name and religion legally, the police had to verify whether I had any connections to terrorist organizations. They visited my home to take statements, and that’s when word spread throughout my locality. Suddenly, everyone around me—family, neighbors—turned against me. People started spreading false stories, claiming I had married a Muslim girl who was a doctor, among other things. These were people who had known me since childhood, yet they quickly turned on me.

Even the local party office a certain political party got involved. They came to my house and made death threats, saying things like, “We’ll place a bomb in your car.” I responded, “Do what you have to do, I will stick with my decision.” For a while, it felt like I was a celebrity in my area, though for all the wrong reasons.

One day after Fajr, I decided to ask my mother about her thoughts on me going to the UK for my studies. The moment she heard it, she said it was the best decision. She wanted me to get away for a while because she was concerned about the threats we had received. Some of my relatives stepped in, urging her, “Don’t let him go to the UK; he’s destroyed the family’s reputation.” But my mother stood firm and replied, “HE WILL GO WHEREVER HE WANTS, HE WILL STUDY WHEREVER HE WANTS, HE WILL LIVE HOWEVER HE CHOOSES. YOU HAVE NO SAY IN MY SON’S LIFE.” After that, no one dared to stand in my way. My parents have been my greatest blessing. Despite the hardships my decision brought upon them, they supported me wholeheartedly, ALHAMDULILLAH!

In terms of struggles, Allah SWT made everything feel so easy for me. I didn’t experience much tension, and I didn’t have to fight hard to overcome my drug or anger issues. Everything seemed to vanish effortlessly. My life before Shahadah and my life after are like two worlds at opposite ends of a spectrum. Yet, the transition felt smooth. For instance, incorporating a routine, praying five times a day, waking up for Fajr—it all felt natural and easy, Alhamdulillah. Islam provides guidance on every aspect of how we should live, and embracing that lifestyle didn’t feel like a burden. Allah SWT made it simple for me, Alhamdulillah.

IT’S NOW BEEN ALMOST SIX YEARS SINCE I EMBRACED ISLAM, AND ALHAMDULILLAH, I HAVE NOT MISSED A SINGLE SALAH. I HAVE PRAYED EVERY SALAH WITHOUT FAIL, AND I AM NOT PLANNING TO SKIP A PRAYER FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, IN SHAA ALLAH.

My Parents

One of the greatest blessings in my life has been my parents. They have endured so much because of me in my past life. When I first expressed my interest in Islam to my mother, she already knew. She had seen me praying five times a day but never questioned me. When I finally told her, I saw the tears in her eyes, but despite that, she said, "It's okay, you don’t have to worry about anything. I’ll convince your father. I just want you to live your life the way you want. I want you to be at peace, no matter where you are."

This is my mother—always supportive, always standing by me through everything. She has supported my every decision throughout my life, and I love both my parents deeply. I wish to give them back a thousand times more than what they have given me. I want to treat them with the love, care, and respect they deserve.

Every day, I make duas for them to be blessed with hidayah. I have managed to change their perspective toward Islam to some extent, but I know that only Allah SWT can grant them guidance. May Allah SWT bless them with hidayah and reward them for all they have done. Ameen. 

My Thoughts on Islam

THE GREATEST BLESSING IN MY LIFE IS HIDAYAH. I AM FOREVER GRATEFUL TO ALLAH SWT FOR EVERYTHING HE HAS BLESSED ME WITH, ESPECIALLY THE GIFT OF GUIDANCE. As I mentioned earlier, I reverted to Islam because something inside me urged me to, but as I delved deeper into my research, I came to understand that Islam is the only truth, and Allah SWT is indeed our Creator. That realization made me reflect on my life, and I saw how truly blessed I am.

I’ve experienced two very different lives, and now I’ve received the greatest blessing anyone can ask for—Hidayah. I’m blessed with the best parents, financial stability, and everything I could ever wish for in life. Whenever the whisperings of Shaytan tempt me to sin, Allah SWT always places obstacles in my path, pulling me back and protecting me. He has continuously taught me about Islam by sending good people into my life, and I always double-verify everything through proof.

Nowadays, many of my Muslim friends come to me with their doubts, and I feel deeply grateful to Allah SWT for the knowledge He has given me. I have been able to inspire many Muslim and non-Muslim friends regarding matters of deen. Some of my non-practicing Muslim friends have started praying regularly after listening to what I shared with them—Alhamdulillah.

Allah SWT has always given me the strength to pray five times a day, and I have never knowingly missed a single Salah. He has blessed me with the ability to bow down in sujood before Him. ALHAMDULILLAH FOR EVERYTHING! I CANNOT FIND THE WORDS TO EXPRESS JUST HOW GRATEFUL I AM FOR THE LIFE HE HAS GIVEN ME.

YES, I HAVE MADE MISTAKES IN MY LIFE, BUT I DEEPLY REGRET EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. EVERY DAY, I TRY MY BEST TO STAY AWAY FROM SINS BECAUSE, AS ALLAH SWT SAID, HE LOVES THOSE WHO RETURN TO HIM IN REPENTANCE. I WON’T GIVE UP, IN SHAA ALLAH. I CANNOT IMAGINE A DAY IN MY LIFE WITHOUT PRAYER, AND I DON’T WANT TO LIVE IN THIS WORLD WITHOUT MY HIDAYAH.

From being a person who thought partying, using drugs, and hanging out with girls was the best life, here I am now, living a truly happy life by staying away from everything I once believed was "fun." Nothing is more beautiful than living a life where we surrender our soul to the One and Only God, Allah SWT.

TO THOSE OUTSIDE THE COMMUNITY WHO ASSOCIATE ISLAM WITH TERRORISM, I HONESTLY DON’T KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS HOW HAPPY I AM BEING A MUSLIM. I CAN’T EXPLAIN HOW BEAUTIFUL ISLAM TRULY IS. ONCE YOU TASTE THE SWEETNESS OF THIS RELIGION, WALLAHI, THERE IS NO GOING BACK.

Hidayah is the greatest lottery a person can win in their entire lifetime, and Alhamdulillah, I am forever grateful for being one of the blessed ones.

May Allah SWT bless every person in this world with Hidayah. Ameen.