Islamonweb

1. Emotional Journey Before IVF

For 12 years, I tried to conceive without success. During that time, I underwent numerous medical examinations to identify the cause of infertility, but all the results came back normal.

Initially, my husband and I did not feel much pressure, as we were busy pursuing our studies overseas. Living abroad meant we were away from the usual societal expectations, and we didn’t encounter many people who would question us about children. However, after returning to Malaysia, the situation changed. People started asking questions, and some comments were hurtful. I still remember a distant relative bluntly saying I was barren. That moment was incredibly stressful and left a lasting emotional impact.

Despite these challenges, my husband and I remained steadfast in our faith, believing that children are a blessing and ‘rezq’ from Allah. We held firmly to the belief that Allah would grant us children at the right time, according to His divine wisdom.

2. Decision to Pursue IVF

Before turning to IVF, I attempted intrauterine insemination (IUI), but it was unsuccessful. After thorough discussions with my husband, we decided to try IVF as our final effort. We agreed that if IVF also failed, we would accept Allah’s ‘qada and qadar’ that parenthood was not our sustenance in this world.

This was a major decision for us. We knew IVF required a significant financial investment, and I would need to take unpaid leave to focus on the procedure and recovery.

Alhamdulillah, we were fortunate to have strong support from our family, friends, and the specialists at the Fertility Centre at Medical Specialist Centre. Their encouragement and guidance made a challenging journey much more bearable.

Before embarking on the IVF journey, my husband and I decided to perform Umrah. This was an important spiritual step for us, as we sought Allah’s guidance and blessings before making such a significant decision. The experience of being in the holy cities of Makkah and Madinah allowed us to focus on our faith, purify our intentions, and draw closer to Allah.

During Umrah, we made heartfelt du’a in front of the Kaabah, asking Allah to grant us the strength and patience to endure whatever challenges lay ahead. We prayed for His mercy and guidance, placing our trust in His divine plan. The peaceful environment and spiritual connection rejuvenated our faith and gave us the clarity to move forward with IVF as a form of ‘ikhtiar’ while fully relying on Allah's decree (tawakkul).

With renewed faith and determination, we returned from Umrah ready to begin the IVF journey, trusting that whatever the outcome, it would be what was best for us according to Allah's infinite wisdom.

3. IVF Journey

Undergoing IVF was an emotionally intense experience, particularly because it was my first attempt. The combination of hope and anxiety throughout the procedure was overwhelming. I had read about the potential side effects of the medications, including ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome, and knew some women experienced severe complications. Alhamdulillah, my procedure went smoothly, and I didn’t encounter any significant side effects.

During the waiting period after the embryo transfer, I engaged in zikr, made frequent du’a, read the Quran, and gave sadaqah as acts of devotion and hope.

4. The Moment of Success

I knew many people who required several IVF cycles before achieving success, but Alhamdulillah, my first IVF attempt was successful. I managed to produce four high-grade embryos during the procedure. Two embryos were freshly transferred, and I became pregnant with twins. The remaining two embryos were frozen.

Unfortunately, my joy was short-lived. At 13 weeks of pregnancy, I suffered a miscarriage, losing both babies. The pain of loss was immense, but my husband and I remained determined and decided to proceed with a second embryo transfer using the frozen embryos, approximately 6 months after the miscarriage.

This time, both embryos were transferred, but only one successfully implanted. Alhamdulillah, the second pregnancy progressed smoothly despite some challenges, including gestational diabetes mellitus and pregnancy-induced hypertension. To ensure a safe pregnancy at the earlier part of the pregnancy, I took two months of unpaid leave and rested at home until I reached the four-month milestone.

The delivery was equally challenging. I underwent a caesarean section and experienced postpartum complications, including uterine atony that caused significant bleeding and pre-eclampsia after delivery. It felt as though I was on the brink of death, but Alhamdulillah, Allah granted me the chance to hold my baby in my arms.

5. Strengthened Bonds

This journey brought my husband and me closer together. We supported each other through every high and low, and this shared experience strengthened our relationship deeply.

Now, as parents, we value each moment with our child. After struggling to conceive for so long, I never take motherhood for granted. Even the challenges of parenting feel like blessings, and I am constantly reminded of the mercy and blessings of Allah.

6. Motherhood After IVF

Motherhood after IVF has been a deeply rewarding experience. The journey to get here has taught me to cherish every moment, even the difficult ones. Holding my child is a daily reminder of the years of struggle and the infinite mercy of Allah. I am deeply grateful for the availability of this technology, which, with Allah’s permission, has blessed me with the opportunity to become a mother.