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Wa ʿalaykum al-salām wa raḥmatullāhi wa barakātuh.

All praise is due to Allah, and may His blessings and peace be upon His Messenger ﷺ, his family, and his Companions. To proceed:

Dear sister, being far from your family and adjusting to life alone can be painful. Your desire for marriage and companionship is understandable, and your parents should take your emotional needs seriously.

Your first step should be to gain your parents’ trust and sincerely seek their agreement. Parents generally want their children’s well-being, even when their judgement differs from their children’s wishes. Their request to wait may reflect concern about your recent move, future stability or how well you know the proposed husband. Give them an opportunity to explain, while helping them understand what you are experiencing.

Allah commands kindness towards parents and respectful speech:

“Rather, address them respectfully.”
(Al-Isrāʾ 17:23)

The Prophet ﷺ also taught that gentleness beautifies what it accompanies, while its absence makes matters worse. (Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, no. 2594a.)

Speak calmly and honestly. Explain why you wish to marry this man, what you know about his character and how you both intend to manage housing, finances and your future. Ask your parents what would reassure them and whether you can agree on a reasonable timeframe.

Seek help from people your parents trust

If direct conversations are not helping, ask a respected relative, family elder or qualified scholar to speak with them. A good mediator should listen to both sides, investigate concerns and help find a workable solution.

Ask the man to make a formal proposal and engage respectfully with your family. His willingness to proceed openly and responsibly will help them assess his seriousness. Independently verify his character, marital status and readiness for marriage; kindness towards you is encouraging, but marriage requires wider consideration.

Do not rush into excluding your parents while these reasonable avenues remain open. Equally, mediation should seek a fair resolution rather than leave you facing indefinite delay.

If sincere attempts at reconciliation fail

Respect for parents does not give a guardian an unrestricted right to prevent a suitable marriage. The Qurʾān prohibits obstructing women’s marriage in al-Baqarah 2:232, in the context of remarriage. However, whether your parents’ request constitutes unjust obstruction requires assessment; their disagreement alone does not establish it.

According to the majority of jurists, including the Shāfiʿī school, a walī is required for a valid marriage. The Prophet ﷺ said: “There is no marriage except with a guardian.” (Jāmiʿ al-Tirmidhī, no. 1101.)

Where a guardian unjustly refuses a suitable marriage, the Shāfiʿī school provides for referral to the judge after the obstruction is established. Al-Nawawī explains this procedure in Rawḍat al-Ṭālibīn, Book of Marriage, discussion of unjust obstruction. Where no Islamic court exists, an established Islamic centre or qualified scholarly council experienced in marriage cases should assess the circumstances and advise on the proper procedure.

The Ḥanafī school recognises an adult, legally competent woman’s capacity to contract her own marriage, with qualifications concerning suitability, dower and the guardian’s rights of objection. This recognised position should be applied with qualified guidance and proper fulfilment of the marriage requirements. (Ibn al-Humām, Fatḥ al-Qadīr, Book of Marriage, chapter on guardians and suitability.)

Even if another lawful route eventually becomes necessary, continue treating your parents with kindness and seeking reconciliation. The Qurʾān preserves the duty of good companionship even where obedience to parents is not permitted (Luqmān 31:15).

Build connections with trusted women and a local Muslim community, maintain regular contact with your family and seek professional support for your distress. You deserve support now, alongside your efforts towards marriage.

Before relocating, also verify the civil marriage and immigration requirements. Marriage alone does not automatically give you permission to settle in Denmark; the applicable route depends on your circumstances and his residence status.

May Allah ease your loneliness, guide you towards a righteous marriage and bring understanding between you and your parents.

Allah knows best.